Oh! Gravity

Phunny Stuph

31 January 2006

Don't forget the Joe and Carly Amalgamation Survey!!!



Man, this blonde joke cracks me up, as does this version of the Foo Fighters video clip. Will the genious of MTV never end?

The Christian Juggler is funny too, but this one takes the cake today. Only in America =P

Until next time, stay classy,
Martyman

Author: Martyn » Comments:

It's Official...

Those of you familiar with Thumb Wars will remember the scene in which Ooobie Doobie Scadoobie implores to Luke 'Touch your tongue to mine. You know, to make it official.'

Now, I don't wish to revisit the creepiness of that scene, nor do I wish to discuss tongue-touching in any way, shape, or form.

However, I would like to say that:

Joe Hardy and Carly McGuire are engaged!!!


Congratulations guys!!

In honour of their joining* I have created the Joe and Carly Amalagamation Survey. Just as Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez became Bennifer, and Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner became Bennifer II, I think Joe and Carly should have their own, unified, moniker.

Take the survey, and let MartynsMusings know what you think! After 10 days or 50 responses (whichever comes first), I'll tally the results and post them on this site!! Please, only complete the survey once. If I find evidence of multiple votes, I'll discard the entire survey and choose my favourite name =)

Once again, congratulations to the happy couple-to-be...

Until next time, stay classy,
Martyman


*Is it an inner join, a left outer join, a right outer join, a full outer join, or a cross join?
Wait one hot minute, my geekdar is making a loud beeping noise!!

Author: Martyn » Comments:

Procrastination Fodder v2.0

30 January 2006

In one of my previous posts, I decided to share with the world my cure for January Work Syndrome*. To my horror, I recently discovered that I had omitted key pieces of the procrastination puzzle. As they say in Braveheart "That is something we shall have to remedy".
So, here is the remedy...


1. Strongbad

Yes, it sounds suspiciously like the beer Strongbow. But it's not a beer, it's an animated creation designed for maximum humour while you're trying to pass the time. May favourite is dragon, but there are many others for your comedic pleasure. A warning, though, the animations have a soundtrack, so you might want to be careful if @ work =)


2. Digital Blasphemy Dot Com

This site is a repository of very nice graphics and themes for your desktop or mobile device. It was previously entirely free but now there is a paid, members section and the free gallery is quite limited. There are still some very nice wallpapers in the free gallery though.



3. Dark Horizons Dot Com

Dark Horizons was started by a cinema enthusiast in Sydney. He spent his days gathering movie news, pictures and previews - the site would have information on movies before they had even begun production, and would follow them through to release. His following grew over several years until, eventually, the site was so popular that the major movie studios decided to help fund the venture. The site has maintained it's independence, yet the funding has seen an expansion into the TV and DVD realms, along with a much larger capacity for video multimedia. Definitely worth a look!!



Until next time, stay classy,
Martyman


*January Work Syndrome is a sad state of affairs whereby one must travel to said work location (often a long journey) to arrive at 9am, only to be greeted by a full 8+ hour day, with around 3 hours of work available to do. Thus, the internet becomes a keen ally and close friend during such heart-wrenching times. Please note that Martyn's Musings actually has plenty of work to do right now...*sheepish grin*

Author: Martyn » Comments:

Paint me green and call me Gumby!

I recently came across a member of the younger generation* that was unaware of that friendly green being, Gumby. This young man also possessed a deep ignorance of Pokey and the Blockheads. As you may have guessed, this shocked me, because I suddenly realised that I was old.


Today, I stumbled across some more news that shocked me...

Paul Colman has joined the Newsboys.


In the words of Rove, WHAT THE?????


Yes, you read correctly. Paul Colman has joined the Newsboys.
After Jody Davis left as their long-time guitarist due to family reasons, their interim guitarist didn't last long. Paul has now weighed in to fill the spot. I'll be keeping an eye out to see if this will signal a return to the Newsboys of old - the fun-loving, zany, mad-cap Newsboys that were always a laugh to listen to.


To add to the shock, Audio Adrenaline are calling it quits after 15 years of American Christian rock. After 15 years of screaming, lead singer Mark Stuart's voice is, unsurprisingly, finally giving way. They're working on a greatest hits package with some new songs. So long fellas!!

Until next time, stay classy,
Martyman



*In fact, as I ponder for a moment the state of play in our human universe, the entire population is getting much, much older. The birth rate ain't what it used to be, and so products and services for the older generation will be a growth area in the coming years. Perhaps I should invest in a zimmer-frame manufacturer...=)

Author: Martyn » Comments:

Happy Invasion Day!!

26 January 2006

Today, I can't help but feel joy and pride as I think about the things that I love about Australia. I think of my hometown, Newcastle, and all the many great memories I have had there, with some very great people.

I think of how I'm descended from a convict (no joke!), of how we are a nation lacking class, of how we love the beach and hot weather (except Mexicans!!), or how we're generally pretty laid-back.
I think of red-heads called bluey, and large men called 'tiny'. I think of our sense of irony inherited from the British, and of our beer-guzzling and bbqs. I think of the ABC and JJJ and Industrial Relations law (well, the old stuff) and free public health and education for all, no matter where you're from or how much money you've got (am I revealing my bent toward caring for the less fortunate?). A fair go for all.
I think of Christmas in summer and Jacarandas and Redhead beach and our pool at home. I think of all of the Christians and churches and camps that I've been on that I've loved. I wonder if Jesus would've known about this strange country when he prayed for us in John 17??

Today, let's give great thanks for this country. Thanks to God, thanks to each other. Thanks for glories past and glories present.










But there is a very dark side to our nation. Along with the virtues of old-school Australia came the realities that it was a very Anglo, very monocultural and, let's face it, a racist country.

From when the British landed we have been racist. The more of Australia I see, the more evidence of the harsh mistreatment of Aboriginals and Torres Strait Islanders. We imprisoned them, stole their land, killed their animals, raped their wives, took their children from them, and infected them with European diseases against which their immune systems could not stand. Today marks the 218th anniversary of the British Fleet claiming Australia as it's own. Terra Nullius, as they say.


But it's not only the indigenous peoples of Australia who have suffered as a result of our racism. It's all of the non-British immigrants who have come to this country since. Back in the 50s and 60s it was all of the Eastern European immigrants who suffered. My Dad was called a wog as a kid because he was Polish, and no-one could
pronounce, let alone spell, his last name. The 70s and 80s saw an expansion of this to other European countries - Greece, Italy, Malta, etc. The 90s was easily the decade of Asian racism. And today we have racism toward those of Middle Eastern origin or appearance.


Australia has a history of being ignorant and hard-hearted toward outsiders.
Sounds a bit depressing for Australia Day, doesn't it? But let's face it. This country has blood on it's hands. We have blood on our hands. I have blood on my hands. Sure, I wasn't directly involved in the sins of my forefathers, yet their burden falls to me and my generation all the same. God forgive us all...

And if we want to see Australia flourish and succeed and become a truly great nation, we need to own up to our wrongs. We need to acknowledge past wrongs and openly condemn present ones. We need to do what a gutless government will not do*, and say sorry. We need to admit defeat in the realm of indigenous health and well-being and learn from other countries, such as Canada, who have an outstanding human rights record in regard to their indigenous peoples.

Let's say sorry this Australia Day. Sorry to God, sorry to each other. Sorry for wrongs past and wrongs present.

This Australia Day, let's give thanks for our nation, and let's mourn for her wrongs.


Phew. That was intense. Sorry for the rant!! As you can tell, I'm quite fired up about some of this stuff...











I'll leave you with some patriotism from one of our predecessors..



My Country
by Dorothea Mackeller. Written in 1904.


The love of field and coppice
Of green and shaded lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens
Is running in your veins.
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies
I know, but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror
The wide brown land for me!

The stark white ring-barked forests,
All tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon,
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree-tops,
And ferns the warm dark soil.

Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When, sick at heart, around us
We see the cattle die
But then the grey clouds gather,
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the rainbow gold,
For flood and fire and famine
She pays us back threefold.
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze ...

An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand
though Earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country
My homing thoughts will fly.




*The Federal Government refuses to publicly and officially apologise to the indigenous peoples of Australia. However, individual members of parliament, including the Prime Minister John Howard, have publicly offered their individual apologies. I suspect that the reason there is no official apology is because the government fears a host of compensation and land-rights claims to be made because of past wrongs committed by the government.




Until next time, stay classy,
Martyman

Author: Martyn » Comments:

One of these days...

One of my yooni cohorts used to have a poster on her wall that said "One of these days is none of these days". I believe it also featured a rather prominent photo of a lazy dog. Ahhh, to live the life of a canine...

In honour of 'I dream of Jeannie Ding-Dong', who has now left the building, I thought I'd put together some links to procrastination fodder. For all of you who are experiencing the January Work Syndrome*, or who should be working, may your procrastination be blessed!!


1. The Onion Dot Com

A spoof news site from the U.S. - everything from entertainment news to politics. The Christian spoof news is usually the most entertaining. Warning: some articles are slightly offensive. MartynsMusings accepts no responsibility for anything. So there.


2. Lark News Dot Com

A Christian spoof news site. The resemblance to reality is quite scary!! Of particular note is the recent guide 'Field Guide To Evangelicals And Their Habitat'. Take the quiz, and read the excerpt. It had me in tears, sometimes from laughter, sometimes from dismay.


3. Flash Heaven

Oh dear. Oh dear, indeed.

Badger, Mushroom, Snake

Magical Trevor

Chutney!

Lions and Tigers in Kenya



4. Grace Not Works

Some useful and productive procrastination fodder. A site choc-full of articles on anything and everything surrounding Christianity. A completely unborange look'n'feel too...



5. Get back to work!!

That's right, you heard me!! =)



Until next time, stay classy,
Martyman







*January Work Syndrome is a sad state of affairs whereby one must travel to said work location (often a long journey) to arrive at 9am, only to be greeted by a full 8+ hour day, with around 3 hours of work available to do. Thus, the internet becomes a keen ally and close friend during such heart-wrenching times. Please note that Martyn's Musings actually has plenty of work to do right now...*sheepish grin*

Author: Martyn » Comments:

Retroactivity

25 January 2006

It's been several months since a post, which can mean only one thing.....




....









....







....







....




business as usual here in MusingsOfMartynLand!!




In my last post, I began a blow-by-blow account of life as a Martyman in recent months, but left it incomplete. Now is the day of completion, now is the time for closure.
Let the highlights continue...




3. Leaving Bradley Manor, Moving into the Borrowed Ale Hotel

I am now a fully-fledged Borrodalien, complete with messy room and serenity about the state of the place. We really do need to clean up. I think we're going to scrub the whole place down and tidy up in the coming month(s) so we can have a housewarming with all four of us.

Another highlight of the Borrowed Ale hotel is the ale. There seems to be a healthy (but not overdeveloped) stock of beer in the fridge at all times. Since the supplies which I brought home as leftovers from a work Christmas bbq are entirely depleted, we are running with some Extra Dry. Nice.

Adrian and I decided today that, were we to be on Survivor: Flatmate, Adrian would definitely be the last to go. That man is a machine of a flat mate - thoughtful, considerate, clean, tidy. He gets up on time, he's reliable, friendly. He cooks, he washes up, he cleans, he washes, he gets the mail. And no, he's not paying me one cent!! It's all true!!!

Ladies, be on the lookout for this catch of a young man (I think he may be slightly embarassed that I just typed that.... maybe I should delete it...? NAAAHH).




4. T.D. Jakes

The art of the sermon has come to my attention recently, due to several factors. Not only have I had the privilege of hearing many speakers of various personalities and persuasion do their thang, but I have had to give a few talks myself, as well as critiquing others.

The latest craze in the preaching world is the concept of postmodern preaching. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but can define what it is not.

It's certainly not the modernist approach - here's the text, here's three points to read from the text. It's not the chappo method. And as such, some will think it is dodgy from the word go. But I think it, at least, deserves a trial.



T.D. Jakes came to town last year, hosted by Christian City Church. Three nights of boo-yah with Guy Sebastian (on the night I went), Darlene Zschech and Jason Stevens (Christian footballer), at the Sydney Superdome. Quite a different vibe to when the Foos rocked the joint.

He spoke on an old testament passage about Mephiobosheth, a son of Jonathon (2 Samuel 9). It's the story of a crippled and disfigured boy, invited into the king's house. It is a type, a shadow of the core message of Christianity - beggars, scumbags and fools invited into the house of the universal emperor.

And T.D. Jakes delivered a very moving, very powerful, postmodern sermon.

He asked those in the seats if they could relate to Mephibosheth - maybe they had been crippled, physically, emotionally, financially? Maybe they had been cast down.
But, just like Mephibosheth, they were invited to sit at the king's table, where they were equal to the sons of the King.


It made me realise that we have lost the art of preaching. Either we're so focused on exegesis that we miss the deep reality of the message, or we're so focused on our experience and the emotional elements of a sermon that we lose biblical literacy.
I think that, in coming years, the church will be forced to resurrect the art of the sermon.
And I pray that it will produce more biblical, more powerful sermons.





5. Work Christmas Party

Two words: Studio BCS. Seventies fun(k)!! Thanks to Adrian and Martyn (yes, my identity stealing arch-nemesis), I rocked up in a purple dinner suit, complete with purple bow-tie, white shirt with purple polka-dots, and frilly shirt frontage. Add to that an afro and aviator sunnies and you've got yourself some major 70s mojo happening. They played the classics and we boogied on down despite the small amount of room on the dancefloor.

Here's some piccies of my and my work buddies (yes, there was much afro-borrowing).











6. IT gut!

Yes! It's true!! Me, mr. skinny-as-a-rake, mr. wireframe, me, I have a gut!! It's only small at this stage, but slowly growing. Every day that I drive to and from work and only sit at a desk all day, it grows. I think I need to do some exercise.

In keeping with the Warranian Stomach Protocol*, I have named my stomach. He is called Engelbert, and will make a nice companion for Herbert and other stomachs.


*This is similar to the Kyoto Protocol. It is an international treaty enforcing the naming of all stomachs once they reach a certain mass. However, like the Kyoto Protocol, the Australian Government will not ratify the treaty into local law.



Until next time, stay classy,
Martyman

Author: Martyn » Comments: